at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
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