We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
time to smoke my breakfast
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize