his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
