i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
