The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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