Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
