So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
