I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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