Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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