You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
