He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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