wakey wakey hands off snakey
What did we do last night that was yellow?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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