i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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