Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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