Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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