how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
