It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
