Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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