The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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