please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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