What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver is dry heaving
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize