she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
