1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
