I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
