I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
