your parents love me but you hate me
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
