He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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