Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize