After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
