It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
