Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I wish I only lived at night.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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