So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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