The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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