Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
