I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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