he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
