You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
