I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
