What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You smell like stripper and shame
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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