I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
God, you're like boner-b-gone
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
