That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
