I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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