what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
