Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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