Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
