Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
