Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
