Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This baby is an asshole
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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