I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
