butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I CAN MOONWALK!
Just cropdusted the office
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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