I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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