im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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