i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
