If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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