it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Randomize
