Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The ass gains better be worth it
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