but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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