D3 body, D1 cock
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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