So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
