did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
