you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
