puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
